


Aim to cease

by sugarpanties



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bickering, Dialogue Heavy, Dragon Age Kink Meme, F/F, Humor, M/M, Pre-Femslash, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9440873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarpanties/pseuds/sugarpanties
Summary: An unfinished fill for a kink meme prompt:Varric, Dorian and Bull all see that there is something going on between the Inquisitor and Cassandra, but it is progressing SO VERY EXTREMELY SLOWLY that finally they get tired of waiting and decide to help it (and them) along.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's a start, a hint of what the fill could look like, but sadly one I'm not able to finish in the situation I find myself in right now. This is actually the first thing I've written in over a year.
> 
> It's not perfect, it isn't finished, but for me it's a first step.
> 
> It would be a shame not to share it with you, because I love this fandom dearly and it deserves many beautiful things, even if they're small and still waiting to bloom fully...

"Sparkler, what brings you out into the light?"

"I was looking for Sera. The girl messed with my books, I'm sure of it. I just don't know which had been in her dirty paws and lately I'm in no mood for surprises. I was hoping to wiggle my magic fingers in her face and force her to get rid of any prank she had prepared for me, but then," Dorian sighed," then I came across this," he said and waved his hand at the garden. Varric walked around him so he could take a look. Not far away stood the Inquisitor and the Seeker. They were talking. Varric turned back to Dorian in puzzlement. The mage looked as if he was in pain. He looked exactly the same like that time Bull was excitedly showing his new pink and green striped curtains in his face.

"I see nothing weird there. They talk all the time. Now more than ever when I think about it."

Dorian sighed again. "Yes, but do you actually ever listen to what they say to each other?"

"I would never!" said Varric to the mage's amusement.

"Well, do now," he prompted and fell silent again probably stretching his ears to hear every word. So Varric listened and listened some more. Then he stuck a pinky into his ear and shook it to make sure he heard right. He started to laugh. Dorian shushed him, his face still pinched in the look of utter misery. Varric covered his eyes with one hand, bowed his head and proceeded to laugh silently, shoulders shaking. They stood like that for a while.

"What are you two doing here?"

Dorian turned sharply, shushed the Bull and turned back. Varric had yet to stop laughing. Bull grinned and came closer so he could look over the mage at what was going on. But he only saw the Boss and Cassandra talking. He looked closer. Cassandra was blushing slightly and playing with the hem of her shirt. The boss looked tense and she appeared to be sweating even though the afternoon sun was hardly warm. So Bull listened. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't trapped in the Fade. He looked at Varric, who was crying now and then at Dorian, who had his nose scrunched up as if someone was holding a plate of horseshit under it. They stood quietly for a moment, until Dorian's determination broke and he turned away from the scene with a disgusted noise.

Bull sometimes compared Dorian's and Cassandra's displays of disdain in his head. He found out Cass' grunts came from the depth of her heart and she always meant them. She didn't care who heard them as it was her main way of communication. She even had different grunts for different things; so far Bull had counted thirteen. On the other hand, Dorian only grunted when he was among people he trusted. He would never let his mask slip away like that in front of a stranger. His upbringing would never allow such a mistake. It was nice to know that the mage was finally getting comfortable in Skyhold. Bull thought it was cute and really sweet. He hadn't shared his findings or opinions about this matter with either of them.

"No more. I am too sober for this and I'm still not really sure if I'm not dreaming. She just asked her the meaning of all her names. They will talk the day away, freeze solid when the night comes and melt in the morning just to continue this pitiful nonsense."

Varric chuckled and Bull grinned watching Dorian massage the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe they'll wrap it up when they lose their voices," offered Varric wiping away his tears.

"Yes, but how long will that take?"

"Who knows? Why does it bother you so much anyway?" asked Bull listening to Cassandra giggle. It was slightly disturbing. It was normal giggle, but coming from the Seeker... weird.

"Because my sanity is in danger!" wailed Dorian. "I'm dreading the moment Evelyn asks me to come with her to some awful place or other and bring Cassandra with. This is the slowest form of torture I have ever seen or even heard of, which is something, when we take account of where I'm from. I refuse to listen to this, it's just not healthy."

"Okay, so are you going to do something about it or maybe just hide every time the Inquisitor wants to head out? I'm not saying I'm not having fun, because I am, but it's probably funny just the first time."

"I'll try to talk some sense into our fearless leader. However, with Cassandra it will be much harder. She listens to Evelyn, who seems to be leaking her brain out her ears around her now, and Cullen. Somehow, I can't imagine the Commander ordering her to get her act together. And so that really just leaves you, but you would probably drench her in your spit trying not to burst out laughing."

"Normally, I would be hurt, but this time you're probably right," Varric agreed.

"I can talk to her," shrugged Bull with an easy smile.

"You?" laughed Dorian. "I'm sorry, but being subtle is not one of your talents. You would probably just scare her away and make our suffering so much longer."

"So little trust, big guy. I was a spy, you know? I can be subtle if I want."

"How could I forget? You basically admit to that every time you are introduced to someone."

"I'm hiding in plain sight."

Dorian snorted and rolled his eyes. It was pointless to argue with that savage. It could go on and on, even though from time to time Dorian actually found their bickering amusing. Not that he would ever admit to that.

"Would you two stop it? If we want this to work, we actually need a plan. Now, think about it really hard. We can't go straight to them and tell them what to do, they'll never listen. Not the Inquisitor and certainly not the Seeker. They're both just too stubborn. I think Dorian can slip some hints here and there, but let's take it slowly for now."

"See? Even the dwarf thinks you should stay out of this."

"I never said that. Tiny could actually provide some help if you let him do his job."

"See? Even Varric thinks I could be of use."

Varric shook his head; he would never understand these two. They were fighting like children over a toy they didn't even wanted to play with, just snatch it from the other and enjoy the glee of conquering something that the enemy desired. And yet at the same time they kept looking at each other as if they wanted to tear the other's clothes off. Dorian would probably set Bull's trousers on fire at the first opportunity and then set Bull on fire, when he would try to get him out of his fancy robes too quickly and ripped something. Then, Bull would say some crap about dragons and they’d break the bed.

"So, think about it and let's meet again tomorrow. I believe we all need a drink after this and we should take care of that immediately. Anything else can wait."

"Good thinking," grinned Bull.

"I couldn't agree more. Maybe the swill will help me to forget something of what I've just heard. I mean, seriously?" Dorian cleared his throat and pitched his voice higher switching between Trevelyan and the surprisingly good, lower imitation of Cassandra’s thick accent:

"Isn't it lovely today? Well, yes it is, Inquisitor. The sun is shining so bright. Very bright indeed. Are you outside to enjoy it? I wasn't thinking about it. What were you thinking about?" he widened his eyes and started to play with one of the many buckles on his outfit. "Um, well... Look at that flower! Isn't it pretty? Yes, yes, it's very pretty," he continued looking down at his feet and squirming nervously. Varric chuckled and Bull was smiling from ear to ear. So cute.

He finished in his normal voice: "Just as pretty as you, I would add if I had the guts, but I don't, so let's squirm some more until it gets too awkward and one of us will have to walk away.” At the end he sounded a little bit frustrated and maybe a bit hysterical.

"Just as I thought. Not so funny the second time. C'mon, I'll buy the first round."

"Feeling generous, dwarf?"

"Nah, it must be the pretty, pretty sunshine glinting in your hair."


End file.
